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koskar
Joined: 17 Mar 2004 Posts: 461 Location: Skopje, MK
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Posted: 27.05.2005 01:30 Post subject: Reasons Why Captain Janeway Is Better Than Captain Picard |
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1. One word: hair
2. More hair than all previous Star Trek commanding officers combined.
3. Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff.
4. Beams down to the planet like real Captains should.
5. Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line.
6. Hasn't let an adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet.
7. Commanded ships blown up: Picard: 2 Janeway: 0
8. Voyager needs a female Captain. Its Captain must be willing to admit they're lost and pull over for directions.
9. Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way through.
10. Hasn't quoted Shakespeare -- yet.
11. Looks better in sleepwear.
12. Isn't French with an English accent.
13. "Take this cheese to sickbay!" I don't know why this is here, either, but I loved that line!
14. Will give you two days off to ponder your lifeshattering experience.
15. When Janeway lands her ship, it can take off again.
16. Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to convince them to behave better.
17. To comfort children, Janeway cares for them in a loving motherly way. Picard sings a song...in French...about a monk...who can't wake up for morning bells.
18. The only children on Voyager can be turned off at will.
19. Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo.
20. She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way.
21. Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles.
22. Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasle her way out of it with philosophical ramblings.
23. 30 episodes without surrendering the ship.
24. 30 episodes and Wesley has yet to save the ship.
25. Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs. Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniouses who yet again take over the ship.
26. She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands.
27. Janeway has never worn green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. However, if she did, she would look fantastic!
28. Kirk looked good in ripped shirts; Picard looked good without a shirt; Janeway would look... no, they can't do that on network television.
29. Cheese
30. Doesn't force her crew to wear awful outfits, unless it is to blend in with a primitive planet.
31. She doesn't waste time learning foreign languages. All lifeforms in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect English.
32. Her engineer does not wear a bananna clip over her eyes.
33. Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.
34. Doesn't have a Counselor on board (thank God!).
35. Her telepath only lives nine years.
36. Janeway heard the words "boldly go where no man (er, woman) has gone before" and took them to the extreme.
37. 45,000 light-years is one thing. Every point in the universe instantaneously? That's excessive!
38. Picard tells alien cultures, "I hope our two cultures will one day come to a greater understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the deadliest of force".
39. Janeway's Security Chief would never grow a ponytail.
40. The high point of Enterprise cuisine were scrambled eggs that only Worf could stomach.
41. Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off.
42. Maintains an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia.
43. Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris, are YOU ever stupid."
44. Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. I can't help myself!
45. Hugs her Vulcan from time to time.
46. Has a more manly voice.
47. Doesn't have a starship that splits in half when it's in a tight spot.
48. Has a dog and a significant other, not some damn fish!
49. Kes. Troi. No contest.
50. Neelix. Replicator. Ok, this one's debatable.
51. At least she doesn't have to yell "Hot!" at her cook every time she wants something to drink.
52. Her ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles.
53. Her CONN officer actually went through the Academy.
54. Her OPS officer can use contractions.
55. Her first officer has a halucinogenic device.
56. None of the crew members' relatives have ever tried to take over the ship, invade the Federation, steal a starship, or enslave all humankind.
57. To help her relax, Janeway's first officer helps her contact her spirit guide. Picard's first officer helps him get . . . to Risa.
58. Riker never smiled at Picard that way.
59. Q asked Janeway to run away with him and she refused. Q asked Picard's girlfriend to run away with him and she accepted.
http://www.sjtrek.com/trek/humour/ |
_________________ Drop your panties Sir William, I cannot wait 'till lunchtime! |
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kelso
Joined: 19 Jul 2004 Posts: 507 Location: Zagreb -> Zapruđe
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Posted: 27.05.2005 02:36 Post subject: Re: Reasons Why Captain Janeway Is Better Than Captain Picar |
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koskar wrote: | 44. Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese. I can't help myself! |
LOL!!!1 |
_________________ Don't drop it! |
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F@NTOM
Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 592 Location: Dubrovnik
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Posted: 27.05.2005 07:30 Post subject: |
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Ma Janewayica je pusiona, Picard rox.... Engage !! |
_________________ These pretzels are making me thirsty! |
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mile
Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 1327 Location: Jeruzalem
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Posted: 27.05.2005 12:57 Post subject: |
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F@NTOM wrote: | Ma Janewayica je pusiona, Picard rox.... Engage !! |
samo bih još dodao: 'Make it so' |
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blackduke mi3.crew
Joined: 08 Sep 2003 Posts: 2681 Location: Zagreb
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Posted: 27.05.2005 13:02 Post subject: |
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fakat nije |
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stripe
Joined: 24 Jan 2004 Posts: 816
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Posted: 27.05.2005 14:19 Post subject: |
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dajte - nema usporedbe!
samo jedan fali:
60. No other captain in StarFleet history has singlehandedly RAZGUZIO BORGA u 3 minute!
ono: tocka.
[mumbles]:kazzm fazzm that damn faggish picard |
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Matija
Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 571
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Posted: 27.05.2005 16:47 Post subject: |
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Koskar ti stvarniimaš viška vremena?
pozdrav |
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excal1bur
Joined: 27 Mar 2005 Posts: 70
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Posted: 27.05.2005 18:19 Post subject: |
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picard, riker & data rulz |
_________________ Dulce et decorum est pro partia mori. |
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aesqe
Joined: 18 Sep 2003 Posts: 48 Location: zagreb
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Posted: 27.05.2005 18:38 Post subject: |
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janeway, definitvno. makar me ponekad taj njen 'majcinski' izraz lica natjera da skrenem pogled na sekundu |
_________________ -_-_-_-__oops, missed one-_-_--again_-
::skyphe:: : ::breed:: |
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F@NTOM
Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 592 Location: Dubrovnik
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Posted: 27.05.2005 21:35 Post subject: |
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Top Ten Bumper Stickers for the Starship Enterprise
10. Our other starship separates into THREE pieces!
9. One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it.
8. HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!
7. Guns don't kill people, Mark VII phaser rifles do.
6. Zero to warp 9.7 in 3 seconds!
5. CAUTION! We have a trigger-happy Klingon at tactical!
4. If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?
3. Have you hugged a Ferengi Today?
2. Wesley on board!
1. We break for cubes.
Druga je bolesna, zabolio me trbuh kolko sam se jako smijao |
_________________ These pretzels are making me thirsty! |
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dotTOM
Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 340 Location: Zagreb
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Posted: 28.05.2005 00:19 Post subject: |
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zasto?! |
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koskar
Joined: 17 Mar 2004 Posts: 461 Location: Skopje, MK
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Posted: 28.05.2005 02:48 Post subject: |
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F@NTOM wrote: | 10. Our other starship separates into THREE pieces! |
ovaj rula! |
_________________ Drop your panties Sir William, I cannot wait 'till lunchtime! |
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F@NTOM
Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 592 Location: Dubrovnik
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Posted: 28.05.2005 07:22 Post subject: |
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Sta zasto? Zato sta je nagori i iritantniji lik u cijelom st-u pa cak i jenwayice. |
_________________ These pretzels are making me thirsty! |
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